abaumgardner asked: Thanks for the follow! :)
How to tell the difference between different...
POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL: The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
STONER METAL: The protagonist arrives ON the Dragon and befriends him over a few bong hits. The princess then gets on the Dragon's back too, and they all fly to the mystical wizard's castle and get even more baked. They stare at the wall for a couple of hours, giggle inanely and wake up in a field.
princess-fancyface asked: You, my friend, are GAWGEOUS. Just letting you know in case you didn't already. And no, I don't have a question. Just that statement. :)
Anonymous asked: Where in the world did you get the clean that shit mark that shit pierce that shit hoodie I want to get one for my friend! Thanks
Started coughing up blood today.
So I called in sick for the first time in years. I feel bad. Like I’m skipping or something.
pornpixie asked: Where is your band playing? :)
I'm watching Harry potter to fall asleep.
Leave me stuff to wake up to. Let’s get weird with it! I’ve got a long van ride to my band’s show tomorrow, and I need something to keep me entertained!
Jut called the pizza store to order a pizza.
We asked what their smallest pizza was and they said a medium… Uh… What? Only America…
Anonymous asked: I'm curious... What is your pup's name?
modifyourown asked: Hope you're feeling better :)
Anonymous asked: Why you so cute? D:
rodalynstylesanddesigns asked: Hi - Just wanted to say sweet blog!
Anonymous asked: I feel stupid for asking this but do you have multiple rings in your septum? if so, how? haha. I started stretching my septum recently and I really like the look!
cupiexcake asked: I just had to use my inhaler and now I'm having an allergy attack. I hope you feel better ):
christinedgaf asked: Hope you feel better soon dear(:
Not only are my allergies and asthma acting up,
I think I’m getting sick as well. My solution? Box of tissues, Vicks vaporub, cough drops and the dadly-est movie ever to watch with my bubba… Fast and the Furious. Bubbs loves to watch dad movies with his pappa!
My asthma sucks tonight.
It sucks real hard.